Saturday, October 2, 2010
Well, it looks like things with my ex have boiled over and have come to an abrupt end. I ended up kicking her ass to the curb after she said some things that I considered unforgivable. She was being a bitch and kept trying to make me act like her BF without actually being her BF. Then when she is sober she tries her hardest to make it look like she doesnt care about me. When she is drunk she starts talking about marriage, our future etc. complete 180. Not sure if i will see her again though. I tried my hardest to say the harshest things i could keep her away. For some reason we always fight and then two months later she calls wanting to hook up again. She assured me she wont do that again, even though she has done it for the last couple of years, as well as assured me time and time again she wouldnt call. I dunno. I feel sad, but it feels good to be doing the ass-curb-kicking for a change. usually i end up clinging to the girl pathetically until she dumps me. i feel like an asshole but being nice hasn't gotten me anywhere. and i know more than anyone she doesnt deserve any better. I'll get over it in a week or two. like always. But its no big deal, really i shouldn't be complaining. One of my best friends is in the process of having a divorce and he has a kid with the broad on top of that. He tells me i'm lucky i have no ties that bind me to her and he is right. I probably saved some face as well. I have no cash, but was giving her the impression I at least had some spending money so i dont come across as a loser in that regard. I was getting worried about how long i was going to be able to keep up that facade.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
|she's wearing my clothes|
Well guys, my ex called me on Monday. Of course I knew deep down I couldn't turn down her request as best as I tried. I answered my phone and replied that I was smoking out; she asked if I needed company, to which I responded "Sure." I have this adverse reaction to hearing her voice though, I get chills throughout my body. I start trembling and shivering as if I was outside in my boxers in the middle of winter. She wanted me to talk as I drove, but couldn't still my hands from shaking nervously. Decided to buy some beer which turned out to be a good idea, since I found it steadied my resolve better than the cigarettes did. We had good conversation along the way and started drinking, smoking and playing with my puppies when we got back to my place. Felt like old times. I started to kiss her gently on her lips and was met with no resistance, no weird feeling, it felt natural for a change. But I know she is a liar. I know she is deceptive. I know she doesn't deserve my trust, I know it would be easier if I just didn't deal with her, but I miss feeling validated for a change. Later we had sex and I dropped her off. My only regret is I was being a little bitch when she didn't want to give it up at first. She was pissed that I dropped her off later than I said I would, but that bitch has no right to complain about something so trivial after all she has put me through. Now I guess the best thing to do is hang back and wait for her to call me. Don't get me wrong though. I plan on getting even at some point. When, I'll have to figure that out as I go along.
|She liked making home movies, but she was also strangely comfortable making them.|
Monday, September 27, 2010
On that note of ex-gfs though. I need some advice from you guys. One of my ex-gfs says shes coming to visit me. She stabbed me in the back, went to live with some other guy. Basically scrambled me emotionally, but that was 4 years ago. Here's the dilemma. Should I just keep her as a booty call or tell her to fuck off? I feel like i want to say fuck off, but at the same time, what am I going to do that night if i tell her that? Stay home alone, game and look at porn?