Saturday, October 9, 2010

long time no see people.

doing  coke

sorry for not posting lately guys. i have been busy hanging out with my ex. i tried to place distance between us by telling her off like i always wanted to and kicked her out of my house. It usually works for about 2 or 3 months but this time she called back within a days time. She asked if i still wanted to hang and I thought it was a joke. I was certain she wanted to get closer to me to deliver some sort of humiliating retaliation for kicking her ass to the curb, and for that shit i said. Ultimately she hasn't yet and has spent the night several nights in a row already. things are looking good but she still doesnt want me as a boyfriend yet. i think its because she really wants me to get a job before she commits to me i cant believe it, all i need to do is just off my ass and get a job and i'll have a GF but i still probably wont do it.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Already over.


 Well, it looks like things with my ex have boiled over and have come to an abrupt end. I ended up kicking her ass to the curb after she said some things that I considered unforgivable. She was being a bitch and kept trying to make me act like her BF without actually being her BF. Then when she is sober she tries her hardest to make it look like she doesnt care about me. When she is drunk she starts talking about marriage, our future etc. complete 180. Not sure if i will see her again though. I tried my hardest to say the harshest things i could keep her away. For some reason we always fight and then two months later she calls wanting to hook up again. She assured me she wont do that again, even though she has done it for the last couple of years, as well as assured me time and time again she wouldnt call. I dunno. I feel sad, but it feels good to be doing the ass-curb-kicking for a change. usually i end up clinging to the girl pathetically until she dumps me. i feel like an asshole but being nice hasn't gotten me anywhere. and i know more than anyone she doesnt deserve any better. I'll get over it in a week or two. like always. But its no big deal, really i shouldn't be complaining. One of my best friends is in the process of having a divorce and he has a kid with the broad on top of that. He tells me i'm lucky i have no ties that bind me to her and he is right. I probably saved some face as well. I have no cash, but was giving her the impression I at least had some spending money so i dont come across as a loser in that regard. I was getting worried about how long i was going to be able to keep up that facade.